JAKE 2.0

1X01: THE TECH (PILOT)

ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON UPN:  09/10/2003

TRANSCRIBED FROM UPN

SUMMARY:  A lab accident leaves NSA computer technician, Jake Foley, infected with nano-technology that enhances his normal abilities as well as allows him to interface with technology.

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Starring

MATTHEW CAUCHRY as Darin Metcalf

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< Cut to a club scene where Jake’s roommate – Darin Metcalf, who also works for the NSA – is trying to convince Jake that his job in Tech Support is just fine. >

DARIN: C’mon buddy, we have talked about this. Trust me, you don’t want to be one of those jerks.

JAKE: Darin, I would kill to be one of those jerks.

DARIN: No, we’re in the perfect position because we’re practically agents but we’re not props.

JAKE: What are props?

DARIN: Yeah Props, Property of State. Guys who actually have clearance. Those guys, they have no lives. See you and me, we can quit any time we want and go… start a band or open up a restaurant or something. You still have that kind of freedom. < to the bartender> Two Tequila shots over here please. Thank you. < talking to Jake again> The minute you know any kind of real secrets, like stuff you probably wouldn’t want to know if you want to go to sleep at night anyway, that’s when they own you. And they own you for life.

JAKE: Darin, you’re the only guy I ever met whose life goal is to keep his options open.

DARIN: Cheers. < They drink the shots. > Oh god, I hate Tequila. < sees some girls > Dude, 6 O’ Clock. Pull out your NSA badge.

JAKE: Why?

DARIN: Because. Chicks dig spies.

JAKE: Yeah, but they don’t dig geeks.

<they walk over to the girls>

DARIN: Excuse me, ladies. I’m agent Darin Metcalf; this is agent Jake Foley.

JAKE: Hi.

GIRL #1: You guys work for the NSA?

JAKE: Yes, yes.

GIRL #1: That’s so sexy. Do you have a license to kill?

DARIN: Only if you are really bad.

<girls roll their eyes and walk away>

DARIN: I like that, it usually works.

JAKE: Yeah, that was really good. I’m gonna go home, I’ll see you later.

DARIN: Whoa wait. The spoils of victory do not usually go to those who give up easily, my friend.

JAKE: Uh huh, yeah. I’m gonna go ponder that thought at home, and I’ll see you later.

<Jake is walking away>

DARIN: Hey, leave the door open because, uh, I don’t have a key.

JAKE: Bye.

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< The next scene shows Darin and Jake talking in Jake’s cubicle at the NSA. Darin is on the desk listening to music and looking at a magazine and Jake is sitting in the chair holding the matchbook with Sarah’s number on it. >

DARIN: Okay, I know you don’t smoke. Who’s the girl?

JAKE: Oh, its Sarah. I bumped into her at the bar last night.

DARIN: Whoa, whoa. Georgetown Sarah? Lived in the same dorm for 4 years and never asked her out. Sarah?

JAKE: That’s the one. She wants me to come by her place on Saturday.

DARIN: That’s awesome. Why are you not the least bit excited about this?

JAKE: Because, she wants me to fix her computer. It’s a service call.

DARIN: Define service. < Jake laughs > I’m serious. This, this is your chance. If you show up like a Tech, then that’s how she’s gonna see ya.

COWORKER: I, uh, hate to break up the moment ladies but we’ve got a server offline. That means lets go.

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< Again we see Jake in his apartment. He tries doing pull-ups on a pole on his ceiling. Then he tries with one hand. The pole breaks and he lands on the floor, but a table breaks his fall. His roommate and the girl from the club walk in. >

DARIN: What is with these double locks? Please tell me that there was some really rough sex going on here.

JAKE: Darin, you are not going to believe what…

DARIN: You remember Casey…

JAKE: Uh, yeah. Hi.

CASEY: Hey, I never pictured spies living like really poor college students.

DARIN: Yeah, uh, that’s exactly our cover. So… Agent Foley, don’t you have an… Op to go to.

JAKE: Riight.  < Jake goes to leave. >

DARIN: Come on in, let me show you our debriefing room.

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< Jake is on his way to meet Vaughn and find Sarah when his phone rings again. >

JAKE: Hello.

DARIN: Casey dumped me, man. She thought it was too dangerous dating a spy.

JAKE: What? You’re not a spy.

DARIN: Rub it in, man. Rub it in.

JAKE: Darin, could we talk about this later?

DARIN: Okay, whatever…

< The NSA intercepts the call and now Kyle is on the phone. >

JAKE: Darin?

DARIN: Hello?

JAKE: Darin, I’m losing you man.